Resolution for 2007

I normally don't make a new year's resolution. But this year, I resolve to be happier. I know, I know. It sounds like some non-resolution resolution. But my plan is to facilitate this goal by not comparing myself to other people. When I do this, I pick the top .005% of people out there and end up feeling like a loser.* Unless it's Britney Spears. I always feel like a winner when I read about her. This is a wuss resolution since I generally subscribe to the view that one should be happy with oneself and accomplishments, blah, blah, blah. So, it's more of resolution to stop doing something that I don't do that often, but when I do, makes me depressed.

In other news, looks like my long habit of skipping lunch explains my brilliance. "Facing the LSAT, a final exam or a half-day job interview [or, trying to figure out some dicked-up area of the law]? Go in mildly hungry, not carbo-loaded for endurance, and snack to maintain that edgy state." See, yogurt and animal crackers - the diet of champions.

* You may be wondering, "top .0005% of what? Well, anything. The chick in the Pantene commercial with dreamy hair; the hot chick who jogs down my street and manages to have a tan in the winter that doesn't look like the result of fake tanning; anyone with healthy, strong fingernails; Supreme Court clerks; people who live with hardwood floors and cats who have managed to solve the age-old problem of litter tracking. And for those of you thinking that I am a malcontent who should be medicated, I don't actually spend that much of time worrying about other people and how I stack up. It's just that when I do, I manage to pick the wrong people.

Shopping = good; cooking = bad; hair = awesome

I spent all my Christmas gift cards on Thursday. Shopping was glorious, especially since I didn't have to spend my own money. Good thing, since my efforts to get out of debt don't appear to be paying off. It's like being on a treadmill - I pay and I pay and my balance appears to stay exactly where it is. Again, I have no idea what I've been buying. Nothing cool, that's for sure.

I tried to cook dinner last night. It did not go well. Turns out, I can't cook rice. Who knew?? I keep thinking that if I actually cook, I will come to enjoy it. Nope. Which is probably good since I'm not very good at it. I end up eating a little bit and then tossing the rest of it. What a waste. At least when I eat a frozen pizza, nothing goes to waste. Although I will be attempting a few enchilada recipes sometime soon since I miss my Tex-Mex.

And, for those of you who haven't seen me in a while, here's me and my hair. It's like officially girl-length. Sorry about the piss-poor editing. I felt weird about posting a picture of myself online, so I attempted something along the lines of the "fashion don't" line in Glamour. And I decided to whiten my teeth while I was at it. Compliments please - the highlights are fierce (trust me on this, even if you can't tell). Thanks to Kate for allowing me to use the Chi, resulting in an ultra-smooth look. Mark my words, I will own a Chi.

Post-holiday crash

Coming back to work after vacation should really be a gradual process. Like maybe four hours the first day, then up it to six for a day or two, on and on until you're back to a usual 10-hour day. I mean, I love the job and all, but returning to work after a few days off is always depressing. As is leaving the fiancé behind for a few more weeks.

Christmas was super. My family was in Houston at my sister’s, so my better half and I were able to spend quality time with both families without running all over the state. I planned my Christmas well. I decided to just be straight with people when they asked me what I wanted and told them that I really wanted to gift card for a certain store. I haven’t really been shopping in months and I miss it. So part of the gift is the shopping experience. Anyways, using this method, I was able to get a pretty good haul, which should make for an excellent shopping experience. I did leave my book at the future in-laws’. Which totally blows since it’s like an 800-page book and I have less than 100 pages to go. Hopefully, the future m-i-l can mail it to me.

The low-light was when the present exchange with the future brother-in-law and his wife. The better half and I got them a gift. They got everyone in the family a gift. There was a gift for my future s-i-l’s fiancé. And for me? Nada. Nothing. Zilch. At first I didn’t think much of it because I just assumed that the gift to my better half was to the both of us. No, it was just to him. And not to knock the fiancé of the future s-i-l, he’s super, but I’ve been coming around a lot longer than him and he got something. I was totally snubbed. Now I know what Scorsecse feels like. I didn’t take it too personally, but it was a little weird. I’m just glad the discovery wasn’t made (at least by me) until after they left, because that would have been super-awkward.

I did get multiple pairs of fuzzy slipper socks. Which is good because the rising price of gas means that I keep my apartment pretty cool to avoid a gas bill that tops $120 a month.

What I learned this week

I learned that "inane" is not pronounced with a long "i." It's one of those words that I don't think I had ever heard spoken out loud, so I always went with the long "i" because I really didn't think it would be pronounced any other way. And then I got called on it in a somewhat embarrassing way. That sucked. I mean, what's the point of calling someone out in front of other people and being like "did you just say I-nane?" just to highlight that I've said it wrong. Maybe it's how we say it here (is it?), maybe I was accenting the "i" sound to really highlight how inane something was. Anyways, I guess that's the last time I say something out loud without checking the pronunciation key in the dictionary.

I learned that my fiance rocks. I mean, I knew that before I got here, but it's nice to be home with him and his awesomeness.

I learned that Talladega Nights sucks. I was really looking forward to seeing this and I got, at most, a few chuckles out of it. In other news, I really liked The Devil Wears Prada.

Nice timing

Part of my horoscope today: "it's best to avoid participating in capitalism." Well, thanks. This is the advice I get five days before Christmas?? I have one present to go. Unless this lucky person wants something from the dumpster, I guess I'll have to ignore the advice of the stars.

I have writer's block. I keep trying to put a thought into words and then I delete what I just wrote. And then repeat this process over and over again. I'm getting a little frustrated. But then I try to picture Einstein pulling his crazy hair out and feeling like an idiot when coming up with the theory of relativity or whatever, and I feel better. I'm not saying that what I do is akin to what Einstein did (hey, I don't even know what the theory of relativity is), but it lifts me up a little. Thinking of geniuses feeling stupid always makes me feel better when I feel stupid.

Cool wedding

So the reason I am in town so far ahead of Christmas is because a good friend of mine got married last night. It was a cool wedding, very laid back. I wore a dress. I could have worn jeans and I wish I had. Anyways, I was supposed to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, but she got fed up with the whole wedding racket and just said "screw it." For example, when looking at a venue, she discovered that it was $3,000 for a wedding (just for the keys to the space) and $700 for any other event. What the hell? So her judge married her in her backyard (Reason 101 Why Texas Rules: a backyard wedding in December).

Anyways, I decided long ago to screw the whole traditional wedding thing. I'm still deciding how I'll do it, but I won't be giving $12,000 to some country club just for the keys to the room, that's for sure. My friend has a house in the boonies and owns the lot next to it. So we have been thinking about having the wedding at her house. Plenty of parking; plenty of space; it doesn't cost $40,000. I think my friend is into it; she said last night that she's been really thinking about it. So I apparently have some kind of built-in wedding planner. Sweet.

Happy Holidays, whoever you are

I got one of those Christmas letters in the mail. It was addressed to the 2-bedroom apartment my fiance and I used to live in, and delivered to the one-bedroom we started living in around the start of law school. Along with the letter was a lovely picture of three blonde kids wishing me a Merry Christmas. But I have no idea who the people are that sent it to me. It came from Charleston, S.C. and for the life of me I don't know why they sent me the update letter. I was a little annoyed because (assuming the last name of this family is "Smith") the thing says "Merry Christmas from the Smith's." What's up with the possessive? I was like, the Smith's what? Their dog? But then I started to like the Smiths because the letter was awesome. I started reading it and rolled my eyes because it was the typical year-end spiel highlighting how the oldest kid cured cancer and the youngest is an Olympic bobsledder. Then I flipped over to the back and it said that if you know them, you know the letter on the front was a joke. Well, of course I don't know them, so I didn't know it was a joke. But then I reread the letter and it was pretty funny. So, Merry Christmas to you, too, stranger family.

I am back in Texas. I woke up really early yesterday to get here. I then slept for like six hours. I am such a baby when I have to wake up early. I flew through Cleveland. Bad idea. The airport there sucks. It's like Highland Mall - like weird off-brand food that's twice the price of what the offerings from a regular fast food place would be. And then I had to fly in a little plane all the way to Texas. I always have to take a little plane to wherever my connection is, but I don't like the little planes. I don't like flying in general, and being in a little plane makes it worse. You can feel every bump and I think the plane even shudders when the pilot farts. Just makes me nervous.

Shout out to my sister for running 20 miles yesterday. She's training for a marathon (don't even get me started on why people will pay like $30 to run 26 miles). She's insane. But good for her!!!

It's the little things

We got new computers this week. The smaller CPU is nice, but the best part is the dual monitor set-up. After 2 days with dual monitors, I am not sure how I ever lived without them. I am debating on whether to set one of them vertically, so that I can see more memo at a time. Yes, maybe it's sad that this is the highlight of my week. My life is relatively uneventful. Sue me. Really. I dare you. I am getting really good with the bullshit detector, so bring it on.

It will be the death of me

I don't know why I can't seem to manage my back stairs. I have managed to stumble or fall up or down the stairs several times in the past few weeks. Maybe the steps are too small or something. But if I die here, I am pretty sure I will be found at the bottom of my stairs. Or I'll go to some holler somewhere and some nutjob hillbilly will kill me. I think that's what has surprised me the most about living here. I totally thought the news would be painfully boring, which it generally is. But it seems like crazy white people from the boonies are killing each other off. Like every other night there's a story about how Bobby Jean killed Billy Ray and there's always a trailer behind the reporter who is on the scene.

So, I'm not shocked that Nicole Richie got busted drinking and driving. I am shocked that she is apparently a little over five feet tall and weighs 85 pounds. I don't even know if I could manage to get down to 85 pounds if I tried. Oh yeah, just for the record, if you see or hear her described as a "size 0," don't believe it. No way she's a size zero. We're not that small.

What the hell?

"A 4-year-old girl was mauled at a children's birthday party by a cougar that had been brought in by a wild-animal business to entertain the youngsters, authorities said." Who the fuck thinks to themselves, "Hey, a cougar is so much cooler than a lame pony for the party. Let's get a cougar." I simply do not understand why and how people forget that wild animals are, in fact, wild animals. And, to Shamu, I say kudos. I mean, if I had to spend years doing some show with a guy standing on my face, I might get a little testy, too.

In other news, it's cold here. I think it was like ten degrees when I went to work this morning. I have decided that seasons are overrated. I don't know how my sister is going to handle living in Minnesota.

Can't compete with high def

So, I was out of town for a few days for work. We got into town on Monday night and my coworker and his wife went shopping, so I was on my own for dinner. I went to the restaurant across the street with my book to eat dinner and have a beer. I was sitting at a little table in the bar area and I see a man staring at me. It was a little creepy, but I am sitting there thinking, "Man, I must look good tonight. Maybe I look mysterious and smart with my big book. I am on fire." Then I realize I am sitting underneath one of the bar televisions. And he's watching the football game. And then I was just annoyed that it seemed like this man was staring at me while I was eating.

The circle of life

I learned yesterday that when I marry my better half, I will have the same name as my great-grandmother on my dad's side. My fiance and I are both at least half-Irish with Irish names. I think it's kind of cool.