Brain is full

I don't think any more can fit in there. The sad part is that, at this point, there's not much in there. I think it needs a break. Unfortunately, the bar exam doesn't tolerate brain breaks (although I wonder if there's like an ADA claim for brain-is-full-and-cannot-fit-in-any-more-stuff-right-now claims; I should look into that).

And I'm a little ticked because I often hope to have some random thing I should know reinforced via something like television on cnn.com since I have given up on most efforts at doing anything outside of class. Today I read that the guy in Florida who killed Jessica Lundsford was not provided an attorney after asking for one. So his confession is out. I got that. But the body is in because of the inevitable discovery rule. Jack McCoy and Law & Order already taught me that. So, to the news: thanks for nothing. Can't there be anything in the news to randomly help me remember something I don't know? Please. Like when a special exception in a DTPA case is denied because personal jurisdiction over a kangaroo-plumber violates the 7th amendment?

Today is new car today. I leave in about an hour to get the new car and become even more broke than I already am. I have zero dollars. I think I may have to keep some credit card junk mail to see if someone will actually give me a 0% balance transfer credit card. That will save me some interest until I am actually employed. I can't wait to be employed. Although wearing real shoes will probably make me sad and my feet even more sad. They may rebel.

And Kim is coming to Austin this weekend and Abbey is back. Which is exciting. Remind me to take a picture for Abbey where I am not flipping her the bird. I don't think she has one of me without my middle finger extended in her direction. Maybe it's because I hate her. Abbey, I know you're reading this....

Odds are in my favor

So, the statistics say that I will pass the bar. But as I sit in class, paying attention every now and again, I am starting to wonder exactly how I am supposed to remember all this shit. I am assuming it's true that the whole post-Fourth-of-July-kick-it-in-gear thing is what gets people by and will be what allows me to pass, but right now I'm a little freaked out. I just have to take a deep breat and remember that the one thing I was good at in law school was remembering random shit and not freaking out during exams. I might throw up before the exam, but once it's on, it's on. Most people I know had this "oh shit" moment last week after the MBE. My moment just came yesterday. But it didn't get me to do anything. I went to test drive cars instead.

If all goes well I will have a new car by the end of the week and will pass the bar. The best of all worlds.

Frustration

So, the car I want got more expensive with the 2007 redesign. And I like the 2007 so much that there's pretty much no way I am going to buy the 2006, even if doing so would save me like seven grand. The worst part is that about half of the dealerships I have talked to in Houston, Austin, and San Antonio don't even have the 2007 yet. With no inventory out there, I have no leverage. And I can't find the invoice price online anywhere, so I don't even know where the negotiating boundaries are (and the dealerships aren't all that forthcoming with this price). One dealership offered me like $1000 of MSRP, but I know I can do better than that. I don't have to be the first one on the block with this car, so maybe I'll wait them out. Once there's inventory, there should be some wiggle room.

Bonus tonight - Last Comic Standing is on. This show cracks me up. Let's hope I'm not in the boonies trying to sell my car when the show is on. Bad news is that an all new season of Project Runway starts like 2 weeks before the bar exam. Thanks for nothing, Heidi Klum!

An open letter to Warren Buffett

Warren,

I see you're giving away like a gazillion dollars to help Bill Gates save the world. I applaud your generosity (although your kids must be pissed). Here's a thought. I kind of need some money. Not a lot, just like $10,000 to help me buy a car and have manageable payments. I'm totally worthy. I just graduated from law school and did pretty well. I am a swell person overall. Some people might even say I can be nice and even funny. And it's not like I won't appreciate it. I've been working since I was 15 at a series of shitty jobs. Everything from wearing a whistle and ridiculous outfit of primary colors at a germ-infested indoor playground to waiting tables at a dive with a car theme where people thought a 5% tip was generous. Sure, there are people around the world who still get polio and malaria and they too need help. Far more help than I need. But because I only need a little, it won't make a dent in your donations aimed at saving the world. It's not tax deductible, I'm afraid. But I am sure your accountant can come up with something. Thanks, Warren. A money order or cashier's check will do just fine. If you can't help right now, can you tell Oprah that I'm looking for some donations?

Hugs,

Raisins

Raisins needs a new car

I think I'll get a new car. Sure, you might be saying, "Didn't you just get a new car?" Yes, I did, but it was a used new car. I want a new-new car. That no one has ever owned before me. Plus, with two moves in the next two years, the Accord ain't gonna cut it. I want my whining pets as far away from me as possible. I am thinking a smallish SUV crossover. So if you know anyone who is in need of a car, I have two fabulous options to choose from (for the high class set, an Accord EX coupe with leather; for the cost-conscious set, a Civic CX hatchback). The guy at my McDonald's always wanted the Civic when I went through the drive through. I should have gotten his number. Maybe I'll start going to the drive through every day to see if I can find him.

I think I'll try to sell them myself because I'm worried I'll get hosed on a trade-in. Although I worry that someone will show up to test drive a car and then you'll see my mug on the news with the headline, "Local woman missing after getting in the car with a homicidal maniac for a test drive." It happens.

The good news is that my sister has offered her services in playing all the dealerships in Houston off each other to get me the best deal. Which is awesome since I want to do this after I get back from Europe, which means I'll have about three days to get it all done.

I just failed the bar

Not the real one, but the fake MBE that BarBri gives, probably in the hopes of scaring the shit out of lazy people like me. It's like you have to memorize 2 million things, although they can only ask you maybe 300,000 things. I don't know if these questions are actual MBE questions or what, but there seems to be an obsession with arson. I bet the question writers wet their beds and live with their moms. And by the way: Recapture of chattels? Metes and bounds? What the hell are these things and why do I have to know them??

On the upside, I decided to eat my lunch of grapes and string cheese quickly so as to leave BarBri early. Sad to say, I think that was the best part of my day so far. I tried to go to the HEB by BarBri to grab some grocery store sushi, but they guy looked at me like I was nuts when I asked if they had the sushi people come in every day. I realize that BarBri and that HEB aren't in a part of town that would seem to be home to a lot of desperate sushi eaters willing to get their fix at the grocery store, but the HEB on S. Congress and Oltorf carries it. That's like the worst HEB in town in terms of selection and high-brow offerings.

More good news - the bar exam is right across the street from my apartment. Which means I don't have to pay for parking at the bar exam and can come home for lunch. I would offer my parking lot to those who aren't as lucky, but JJ's towing will have your car on one of its trucks in about five seconds. But try the hotel parking lot just south of Barton Springs on S. 1st St. if you're cheap like me. And if someone tows you, not my fault.

This one's for the ladies

I love my girlfriends. They rock. So this posting is all about them. To Jenn for being Jenn. Supportive on those days when needed, yet a woman who doesn't tolerate idiots. To Meg, who was not only cited, but quoted by a district court and who makes happy hour come alive with stories of some crap about economics of bankruptcy (or something like that). To Kim for being hot and brilliant and a good beer buddy in the early afternoon. To Taylor, for wanting to put the bastards in jail and yet seeming so sweet. To Kate and Ellen and Barbara, who have welcomed me into their family with open arms, while treating me the same as they would any other member of the family. To Sandra, for calling me and regaling me with the most boring stories that anyone has ever heard while stuck in traffic. To mom for being the best mom in the whole world. To Abbey for being hot like a chick, but hitting like a man. To Ann for somehow being the most relaxed anal person I know.

OK, so this was all about the girls, but it wouldn't be complete without a word about the fiance. So, here's to you, Jamie, for thinking I'm hot when I wake up (anyone who has seen me in the morning knows this is funny). For thinking every other woman is not nearly as pretty as me. And for being so proud of me.

clearly I'm bored

I'm not studying. And there's nothing good on T.V. I just came across a story saying that the fat police may target Starbucks next. Yuppies everywhere should be very afraid. The best part of the story: "The union contends that Starbucks staff gain weight when they work at the chain. They are offered unlimited beverages and leftover pastries for free during their shifts."

Well, shit. This clearly calls for litigation. Because people can't be expected to not eat anything put in front of them. They're clearly not adults with a brain. I worked at a restaurant that served some really disgusting stuff. So did my fiance. Both of managed to escape without putting on weight. Why? Was it because some public interest litigation group was standing up for our waistlines? Well, no. We didn't eat there that often and rarely ate the nasty stuff. But, the union will probably contend, these poor baristas are being offered *free* stuff. Don't have a banana creme frap and choose the bran muffin, people. See, not that hard.

On an even more boring note, I have finished scheduling my summer, including the all important pre- and post-bar massages (thanks to Kate, Ellen, and Sandra for making this possible). I have hair appointments, vet appointments, a much-anticipated European vacation, and hotel reservations for my first few days in Lexington. I haven't quite figured out when I'll take care of the one inch of root that's developed since the last round of highlights. After the bar I have one week before I leave for Europe. Then I have 2 days until I begin the drive to Lexington. And I'll have to travel with my cats. They hate to travel. Opie just won't shut up and Nikita sees the car as the perfect place to take a dump. Thank goodness one can apparently get some sedation medication so that hopefully they'll sleep the whole time. I'm pretty sure my parents did this by doping up us three kids with Benadryl before long road trips and we turned out fine. Plus, Opie's the dumbest animal alive already, so I can't see anything going wrong.

I don't care

I know, soccer is like the most popular sport in the world. But I don't care. At all. Nor do I care about the NBA finals. At all. Which sucks because my friends care, which means their blogs talk about people getting robbed or stupid calls and their conversations revolve around these two sporting events. Sporting events I don't care about. Please tell me there's no sports for the rest of the summer so people can start talking about inane subjects about which I might have an opinion. Granted, I like the Sacramento Kings and intend to go to a game or two when I am in Sacramento. But I'm such a girl because I first started loving the Kings when the team was a bunch of foreigners, so that I could get all into the back story of the players. It was like a high school model U.N. They've all scattered around now, so it may be only nostalgia that keeps my love of the Kings going.

On an even more boring front, I experienced today what I thought was impossible: a BarBri lecture that stood out for its total and absolute boringness. I thought maybe property would take the cake, but that was slightly tolerable. Con law with Chemerinsky was rock bottom. People criticize the whole fill-in-the-blank BarBri outlines. But today I would have killed for a blank to fill in. And this saddens me since I can thank Chemerinsky for saving my ass in at least four classes. Stick to books, professor Chemerinsky. For all our sakes, stick to books.

Is it bad that I love grocery store sushi? Because it was a yummy lunch today.

Friday

No BarBri today. I should probably do something productive. I'm sure I can come up with something. Surely watching a rerun of City Confidential counts. It involves people breaking the law, which means it involves the law, which means it counts in some way as being bar studying. Hopefully this poor rich lady had life insurance so that I can wax poetic about the Texas killer heir statute. Which I think might be new-ish. Since this lady died a while ago, I could wax poetic about constructive trusts. See, the learning never stops in this house.

So apparently the skinny jean is the "it" look of the season. I think this is one trend I'll be skipping. Put aside the assurances that this is a jean that "everyone" can wear (and by "everyone," the fashion elite clearly mean everyone not at risk of touching thighs or muffin tops). Even if everyone can wear them, why would everyone want to take the gamble of looking like an idiot? I think I read somewhere that it was a good balance to the princess sleeve (whatever that is) and other fuller tops. Great - I'd really like to look like a triangle if at all possible. And I can only hope they're super-skinny so that my feet look like skis no matter what kind of shoes I'm wearing.

Poor Britney

Britney's interview with Matt Lauer is airing Thursday. And I will be watching. Unfortunately, Britney must have fired her stylist (assuming she ever had one) and isn't looking too hot these days. One would think that she'd clean up a little before the interview. And not smack her gum during the interview, but that would be way too much to hope for. I'm feeling a little bad for Brit these days. I mean, I can barely manage my own life - a life without a baby or a K-Fed. Ask my cats; sometimes I forget to feed them. Brushing them is to big of a hassle since they don't seem to like it much. And bathing them? More like Wet Ones for cats. Imagine me with a friggin baby. And, from what I hear, every parent nearly drops a kid or lets them roll off the changing table. Maybe I only know bad parents, of course.

And now Madonna isn't Britney's friend anymore. Apparently she gave Britney some 12th century Kabalah book that she now wants back. Put aside the issue of tackiness when asking for return of a gift, but who in the hell decides that the perfect gift for Britney Spears is a really old book? Madonna, you're an idiot. Does the Kabalah Center not have a pop-up book that could have served essentially the same purpose? And I'm assuming this really old book wasn't written in English, making it an even more incomprehensible choice of gift.

I never said this blog was about deep thoughts. It's for the inane ones. Sorry if you stumbled upon this thinking it would contain some kind of insight.

Karma police and other randomness

So I am feeling a little bad for painting with such a broad brush in my Yale post. Of course I know some jerks who went to my school and there are jerks at every school. And of course Yale doesn't suck; it's not the best school in the country for no reason. And I shouldn't use generalizations since that's not nice. So leave me alone Karma Police.

In other randomness:

(1) Why are there always orange cones behind parked vans from the phone or cable company? The guy parks in front of a house, goes into the house to do whatever he's got to do, and puts orange cones behind his van. I don't get it. I think I may start using cones every time I park my Honda Accord. Just to make people wonder as I have wondered.

(2) We all know littering is bad. But, if people didn't litter, what would we make people do who have community service to do? Not having ever been sentenced to community service, I don't really know what options are available for people who have to do community service. It could be that by having people pick up litter on highways we're taking their community service time from other valuable projects. But if there aren't that many options, is littering on a highway in a populated area really that bad? I'm not saying we should litter, I'm just wondering.

(3) Apparently the Rock, Paper, Scissors championship was on TV last night. I think I need a hobby, but one that doesn't require physical exertion or manual dexterity. I think I have found it.

the trials of BarBri

I think that the U.S. government should make prisoners at its black sites around the world sit through like 20 hours straight of BarBri. I have a hunch that would be way more effective at getting the bad guys to talk than crap like blasting Christina Aguilera for hours on end (and, sad to say, that would not be torture for some of us).

And I've discovered Law & Order marathons in the afternoons. Which is good, because who doesn't love a good Law & Order rerun? But it's bad because, well, everything I know about criminal law and procedure I learned from Law & Order, which apparently is bad for the Texas Bar Exam. Inevitable discovery has saved Jack McCoy from lots of bad search warrants, but apparently we don't have it in Texas. Actually, the fact that I know that off the top of my head perhaps proves that Law & Order will be what saves me.

I think eloping is where I'm headed. I started to think about planning a wedding yesterday and I was already stressed out. I'm the girl who didn't even think to make dinner reservations for graduation weekend. Which meant a graduation dinner of burgers at the Tavern (which has air conditioning). Which isn't bad since that's kind of how I roll anyways. It's all about the bun and the Tavern has good buns.

How do poor people get married?

And, by "poor people" I mean me. I'll be making good money, but not anytime soon. I don't want a wedding that costs more than a nice car (and "nice" by my standards is anything over $20K). I had a place here in Austin flagged as a place to check out. Looked nice enough. Then some friends today say that when they were getting married and checked the place out, it was $14K. Are you fucking kidding me?? Does the happy couple get a plasma HD TV as a wedding gift? What on earth justifies spending $14K to rent a space for one night? I mean, if you have the money, who am I to criticize where you spend it. Perhaps one day I will be used to money and the idea of dropping $14K for one evening will make perfect sense. Right now it just makes me want to pee myself. Eloping is looking better and better. Or the party room at CiCi's Pizza.

I was supposed to put in some bar studying efforts today. But I slept too much, which just meant I was sleepy all day. And one cannot possibly read a BarBri outline when they're already sleepy. You'd be awake for like five minutes. And now I'm about to go get some pizza at the super Homeslice, which rules out any studying. Perhaps tomorrow I shall head to the coffee shop with outlines. Let's hope that Leslie has stopped hanging out there - he's a bit of a distraction.

P.S. Yale Law sucks

No, I didn't apply there, so this isn't based on the bitterness of rejection. The bitterness is based on having to meet the people that come out of this place. The effect doesn't appear to be permanent since some of my favorite and kindest professors went there and other middle-aged people I've met who went there seem to have turned out fine. But whenever I meet a current YLS student or recent grad, they almost invariably turn out to be total tools (I've met a few who weren't, but maybe I just didn't spend enough time with them).

To current YLS students and recent grads: You're special, I get it. We all get it. You got into a school where like .00005% of applicants get in. Kudos to you. The only explanation I can come up with to explain what comes out of these people's mouths is that they must get told at orientation how special they are. I bet that there's some automated service where every student gets a call in the morning telling them, yet again, how special they are. But someone should tell these special people to shut up about it and carry that special feeling in their hearts. Yale's a magical universe. Great! You have had an experience in law school that CANNOT possibly be compared to anyone else's. Super! Now shut the hell up about it. It's not like the rest of us out here really need reminders of your awesomeness. You people suck up all the clerkships. My friends who want to go into teaching know they'll be clawing they're way past a shit ton of Yalies.

The rest of us don't need YOU to remind us how great you are and how great your school is. Oh yeah, and when someone who *shockingly* says that they actually enjoyed the time they spent at their quality state law school, this is not an opportunity to remind that person, yet again, how awesome your school is. Really.

one of those days

I have a headache, but the advil is in the other room and I'm having one of those days that prevents me from getting off the couch to fetch the advil. So I sit here with a headache. I'm having the kind of day where you objectively look at your life and should say, "Wow. My life is pretty kick ass. I'm blessed with a great fiance, great friends, a good future, everything." But instead, some evil voice is telling you that you suck and that you're some kind of failure. Which really sucks because you're stuck either arguing with yourself or repeating some kind of self-affirming mantra, which I have found to be totally useless. And it's not a feeling that you can call up just anyone and explain because they will probably want to slap you. It's like Nicole Richie having a fat day. No one wants to hear it, even if she really does feel fat. I can't really sit here and say, "I'm a failure," since it's not really true. But I feel like one today. A big frigging failure with a pouding headache. Who wants McDonald's but is far too lazy to attempt such a venture.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Troll got married

So my fiance's brother apparently married the troll he's been dating for a few years. Obnoxious? Check. Still trying to wear clothes that *maybe* fit her five years and thirty pounds ago? Check. Swears the best way to get that dream job is to wear Mary Janes to the interview? Really. She really said that.

Anyways, all of these little issues I could handle. But the family is pretty sure that they got married about two months ago and didn't bother to (1) tell anyone in the family about it or (2) invite them to the wedding. Now, eloping is cool. My fiance and I are seriously considering it. But no - these assholes got married in the same city that their parents live in and, according to theknot.com, had an actual ceremony and reception. Without inviting one single member of the family.

The weird thing is that it's not like there's ever been a falling out or anything like that between the brother and the rest of the family. But his new wife does everything she can to avoid spending any time at all with his family and is actually quite mean to everyone (best part was at Christmas when she took all of the presents that the family had given them, put them in the car without opening them, and insisted that she wasn't staying another minute. really, really classy). I totally get not wanting to hang out with your in-laws all the time. But if you're gonna have a wedding and actually invite people, you have to know that not inviting your family for any apparent reason is going to be hurtful. If that's what you want, that's cool. But don't be surprised when we hate your new wife more than we did when she was just your obnoxious fiancee.

No one's going to read this

So, I started this mostly because I'm jealous of my friends with blogs. I mean, I never get to capture my random thoughts and usually they're inane enough that they don't warrant calling someone up to tell them my random thought. My sister does that. A lot. And it's annoying.

So, big world, you'll probably just pass me by and no one will know about this. but that's OK.