An open letter to Warren Buffett

Warren,

I see you're giving away like a gazillion dollars to help Bill Gates save the world. I applaud your generosity (although your kids must be pissed). Here's a thought. I kind of need some money. Not a lot, just like $10,000 to help me buy a car and have manageable payments. I'm totally worthy. I just graduated from law school and did pretty well. I am a swell person overall. Some people might even say I can be nice and even funny. And it's not like I won't appreciate it. I've been working since I was 15 at a series of shitty jobs. Everything from wearing a whistle and ridiculous outfit of primary colors at a germ-infested indoor playground to waiting tables at a dive with a car theme where people thought a 5% tip was generous. Sure, there are people around the world who still get polio and malaria and they too need help. Far more help than I need. But because I only need a little, it won't make a dent in your donations aimed at saving the world. It's not tax deductible, I'm afraid. But I am sure your accountant can come up with something. Thanks, Warren. A money order or cashier's check will do just fine. If you can't help right now, can you tell Oprah that I'm looking for some donations?

Hugs,

Raisins