She's just a little slutty

So apparently, one of the chicks on American Idol who isn't that good is maybe featured in some racy pictures floating around the internet. Her best friend, who tried out but didn't make the cut, has come to her defense by telling a paper that her friend is "the least slutty person I know." Now that's a friend. That's like saying to someone who's having a fat day that she's one of the least fat people you know. Not saying you're not fat, just one of the least fat. I mean, she might be a little slutty, but less slutty than a lot of other people.

Busy weekend full of all kinds of busy. All of my savings are gone with one measly deposit. Luckily, I was able to put the other deposit on a credit card. Nothing like a little deficit spending (on a credit card that was balance-free at that) to induce the desire to eat an unhealthy number of Girl Scout cookies. But it's okay since I had a spinach salad for dinner. It all comes out in the wash, right? I was going to work tonight, but I decided not to. This decision will probably prove to be a mistake given the amount of work I have staring me in the face. But I figure the worst that could happen is that I actually have something to do this weekend. That'll be new.

Come back to us, Brit!

I'm with Craig Ferguson, so I won't be mocking Britney Spears. I'll admit to loving her brand of pop music. Seriously. Don't hate (and I know you secretly sing along when "oops, I did it again" comes on). Come back, Britney!

Now on to people I will mock. Kim Jong Il's birthday was last week. The crap that comes out of the state-run media is funny until you remember that it's the result of a totalitarian regime run by a delusional midget. Here's one discussing some symposium about the man:

Pyongyang, February 14 (KCNA) -- Symposiums on the undying feats performed by Kim Jong Il were held by working people's organizations.... The speakers profoundly explained the imperishable feats performed by Kim Jong Il for the times and history, noting that his birth was a great auspicious event which opened a bright prospect before the continuity of the Juche revolutionary cause and accomplishment of the human cause of independence. They said Kim Jong Il, genius of thought and theory, scientifically formulated the revolutionary idea of President Kim Il Sung and steadily developed it in depth to meet the demand of the developing revolution, thus clearly indicating the road ahead of the times and humankind....

Hmm, those are indeed some feats. Good thing they were "profoundly explained."

The crap that comes out of DPRK reminds me of the episode of Friends where Joey discovers the thesaurus in Microsoft Word and goes to town. I wonder if it's taxing to write like that. Now, I shall profoundly explain the highlight of my weekend and my Tuesday:

The undyingly impeccable You Like Raisins bested many inferior women as she found the bargains at the boutique sale that outshone profoundly the cheap crap found by the women against whom she was competing. Her notable success at the sale once again highlighted that the majestic You Like Raisins, with her perfectly Godly straight hair, has reached the pinnacle of awesomeness and that other women have no hope of besting her in any of life's ventures. Including the pulling off of the skinny jean. Nor have the incompetent men around her fared better. It is well-accepted that the genius of You Like Raisins has had a profound effect on the development of American federal law and she single-handedly makes sense of illogical claptrap and divines a perfect solution to every case that comes before her that at once follows the established law while making it a glorious and brilliant beacon for all justice-seekers the world over.

Yeah, it is taxing to write DRPK-style.

Coping seven different ways

Last night was rough. I had a slight case of the blues for a number of reasons. So I parked on the couch with a pint of ice cream, a box of Girl Scout Cookies, and two episodes of What Not to Wear. I think I felt better, if not fatter, when I went to bed.

Then I woke up early this morning for the big multi-boutique sale at the Shriner's Temple this morning. Nothing cheers a girl up like shopping, especially at a sale. Two Michael Star t-shirts for about $30 and a pair of AGs for about $50. And I will admit that I think my jeans come really close to being skinny jeans. At least I know a boot won't fit in there. When I tried them on at the sale I was mostly paying attention to the fact that they're a little snug (nothing a few lunges across the apartment can't fix). Then I got home and realized that they're not the cut I'm used to. But I think they're sort of hot (I needed a good reason to buy some cute peep toes anyways). So I guess my lack of attention to detail while shopping has forced me into a trend. I'll wear them with the girls next time I'm in Austin and see what they say. They better tell me I'm hot.

I got my dress today! I think I love it. It's a little big, so I had to sort of hold it right to get it to look like it fit. I'm liking what I see. I'll be modeling it for my sister and the future s-i-ls next weekend to get a final green light. But so far, I think eBay has worked out well for me.

News from the "what the fuck" department: Britney Spears has shaved her head. I can dig a chick with a shaved head - if you're hot you'll probably be able to pull it off. But if you're a little puffy from all the water you've been retaining because of all the boozing you've been doing, a shaved head probably isn't the look that's going to work for you.

Cookies = love

My other half showed me up on Valentine's Day. We were talking about the fact that its Girl Scout Cookie season and that I had yet to stumble upon cookie sales. I checked the web site for the local troop or cabal, or whatever the local organization is called, but it was unhelpful. I opened my door to check the mail and, lo and behold, a dozen boxes of Samoas.* Just for me. Someone loves me! And I love him. So much that I sent him a card.

I hate living in a basketball town. For the second week in a row, Criminal Minds was preempted for stupid college basketball. I'm still getting over the fact that last week's preemption prevented me from seeing Part 2 of a to-be-continued. Jerks.

I got my Chi in the mail today and took it for a test drive. My hair has never been flatter. Thanks, Jenn, for helping to make me prettier and shallower!

* I realize that the official name was changed to something lame like Caramel Delites because apparently someone thought it was offensive to name an awesome confectionary delight after this specific group of Pacific Islanders. But the box they came in says "Samoas" so I'm sticking with the name.

The year of the woman

Ok, so there have been like a gazillion years of the woman. Might as well add another one. The incoming editorial board of the Texas Law Review will be led by two, count 'em, two women. It's so enlightened. It's so 2007. I don't know these girls and I sort of feel sorry for them in the way that you feel sorry for people who voluntarily take on jobs that eat up their lives and personal time. But it's exciting for people like me who give a crap about stuff like this. I am sure that there are about two people like me give a crap and read this thing. Not bad for a readership of ten.

Better him than me

My fat cat has dandruff and it's pretty gross. I'm betting that it's a combination of cat chow and the fact that Opie is too fat to groom himself properly. So, I guess I'll have to start shelling out money for the good cat food (damn it; I don't like the idea of the cats eating better than me). I don't really know how to make Opie lose weight. My old vet used to harp on me about his weight, but then had no advice for how to keep a husky cat thin in a two-cat household. The vet I've been using for the past few years just seems to accept that Opie is a big fellow. Like a plus-size model who shouldn't be forced to lose weight.

I've been looking at the goodies that getting married promises to bring me. The wedding's pretty small, so it's not like I'll be able to set up a hotel or anything, but the idea of having nicer stuff than we have now is exciting. At some point, I was all, "I can afford my own stuff, I don't need to register." Screw that. I want high-thread-count sheets. I want soft towels. I want shams that match my lightweight, pickstich quilt (not the one we have now, but the new one we'll get later). I want a coffee maker with a timer. I want, I want, I want!! I don't think I've ever felt this rabidly greedy before. I'm not sure if I should feel guilty about it. I don't really want stuff that's that nice. Just nicer than what I have now. Which, depending on what we're talking about, isn't saying much.

I am debating the whole china thing. My sister registered for china and then returned it all. Part of me likes the idea of having the nice stuff for special occasions. The other part of me totally doesn't understand why I would need two sets of dishes. We're not fancy people. But maybe we'll get turned into fancy people without knowing it. Of course, if we wake up one day to discover that we're fancy, I guess we could always rush out and buy china then. We could then lie to our kids and say we got it when we got married, but that it's just been hidden away. That way, whichever kid inherits the crap will have some romantic idea about the history of the nice dishes.

competitive nature + eBay = recipe for disaster

I bought a wedding dress today. Probably not the smartest thing I have ever done. I had seen a dress that I loved, but it was $2000 (this would be over my budget) and sold out (which is good since I can be bad with budgets). But then I see a sample on eBay that I could snap up for less than $1000. So I did. I think part of the reason I did this was because at least 10 others were watching the dress and I just could not let some bitch get my dress! Anyways, I feel this may not have been the smartest move since I haven't tried it on. The color may look awful on me. It may make me look short. Who knows. But I guess I can put it up for sale should things not work out. But hopefully it will be awesome. Unfortunately, I paid using PayPal without noticing that my PayPal account was linked to an old checking account that has $2 in it. So then I got to run to my bank and pay $25 for a wire transfer so that I can pay for the dress. And the only reason I could afford the wire transfer was because my rent check hasn't cleared yet. I can't wait to have money. Planning a wedding while living paycheck to paycheck sucks.

In other wedding news, I think I have found the coolest wedding reception favors ever. I'm probably spending too much on them. But my mom offered to pay for them. Considering that my better half and I are paying for the wedding, I think I just may let her. We'll see. Either way, my wedding guests will walk away with a little something that makes them think that I'm like the coolest bride ever. Which I am.

I made an appointment to look at a place in Austin that has good wedding location potential. It looks nice on the web and doesn't appear to be outrageously expensive. I still wouldn't mind having it at my friend's house, but then I get overwhelmed thinking about renting tables and chairs and linens, etc... I figure that, at the end of the day, it may be just as expensive to have the wedding at the house. More expensive if pain-in-the-ass considerations can be translated into dollar amounts.

Did anyone see the Emerald Nuts commercial with Robert Goulet on Super Bowl Sunday? I thought it was hilarious and when I'm tired at work, it's fun to say that Robert Goulet is stalking me. Apparently some people didn't think it was funny. These people clearly don't have office jobs.

Snow shoes?

Well, it's been snowing here. Nothing too bad in well-traveled areas like parking lots. But about two inches in my driveway. I'm annoyed mostly because it's really cold and I am keeping my apartment cool to save money. It wasn't until I moved here and saw my first winter gas bill that I understood why people would accept free heating oil from Hugo Chavez. Keeping warm is expensive. I'm also annoyed because I can't wear my normal shoes to work because the snow is too deep. Which means I have to wear boots. And I like my boots. It's just that they don't really go with most of my pants. Granted, it's just about guaranteed that no one at work has even noticed that I am wearing boots and not regular heels, let alone questioned whether the boots go with my pants. But I know. And it's killing me softly. I was pretty sure before, but now I am certain - seasons are totally overrated.

Wedding planning has gotten easier. My future sisters-in-law are saints. They actually want to help me plan this madness. And I get the sense that they enjoy stuff like this. Knowing that they're there to help makes the whole process seem doable and I'm getting excited about it. Hopefully I can settle on a location when I am in Austin later this month. I'll also go dress shopping, which is what I am really looking forward to. I have a good friend who happens to do invitations for a living. I have put out feelers to photographers. I feel like it's becoming manageable. Today I started thinking about registering for stuff. This is kind of hard because it requires imagining myself as a domestic diva of sorts (and by "domestic diva" I mean someone who uses cookware or kitchen gadgets other than a microwave). I don't really know what a proper kitchen requires. I figure I'll cook at some point and some things will come in handy. I just don't know what those things are.