Flight #1, Friday night. I remember that the stupid liquid-on-planes rules require that my liquid products (including mascara - wtf??) must be in a ziploc bag. I figure that my makeup carrier is made of ziploc bags, so I figure there's no problem. It takes the TSA geniuses at least five minutes to determine that there's nothing in the regulations saying that I can't also have empty ziploc bags (since all the liquids have to be in one bag, the other bags making up my makeup case are empty). I am allowed to pass, "just this once."* Flight takes off almost an hour late. The people in front of me can't figure out how to close their air blower thingy, so they point it at me so it's not blowing on them. When I finally get the nerve to tell them I'm freezing, they complain that the thing won't close and move it about a millimeter. I continue to freeze. About 20 minutes before we land in H-town, I am overcome with an awful stink. I can't figure out where it's coming from or what it is until I look down and see that the woman next to me has removed her shoes. Now the unidentifiable stink is identifiable as nasty-foot smell. Awesome.
Flight #2, Sunday night. Again with the bags. To avoid the hassle of the first flight, I get a separate bag for my liquids. I pick the bag that looks like it's the same size as what the other passengers were carrying when I flew in, thinking it would suffice. The TSA people tell me that my bag is too small. What the hell kind of safety concern is presented by my ziploc baggie being too small?? The TSA people decide that I can pass, "just this once."** Takes them about five minutes to come to this conclusion. Flight takes off almost an hour late. The woman in front of me talks nonstop for two hours. I look up from my magazine once every few minutes to try and will her mute with my brain waves. The woman next to me comments that her two-year-old isn't that talkative. I say that I hope this chick at least knows the person next to her. Right after I express this hope, the chick welcomes the poor guy to the city. I join the woman next to me in a good laugh. Still want to kill the talky-talky girl.
But, at least I got to see Mr. Raisins, the future in-laws, and my sister. Overall, not a bad weekend. I'm glad I didn't spend it alone (as per usual).
* The TSA people took a little bottle of water from some guy next to me. He asked if he could take a sip of it before they threw it away. This request was declined. Once the water was in the secure area, he couldn't have it back. Which generally makes sense to me. But I don't see how letting this guy take a swig of water poses a safety threat. Is he gonna fart a fireball on the plane? Pee a deadly laser beam? Maybe Tom Clancy can come up with some scenario that makes letting the guy take a drink turns out to be deadly. I can't think of one.
** I think the rules are totally stupid. But it's even more stupid to let people break them, just this once. I'm sure this phrase is music to some nutjob's ears.
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2 comments:
They were upset about your bag being too SMALL??????
I give up.
One of the partners here just sends all of his liquids via our office UPS account to wherever he is going so he doesn't have to hassle with the BS TSA rules. It's so tempting . . .
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