So, I got my pre-bar massage today. There was also a scrub involved. Don't know how I feel about the scrub. A little exfoliation never hurt anyone. But one gets a little cold as each body part is covered in some mix of honey and fruit and then left out there. The nice part was the feeling of taking a hot shower while laying down. But then the towel that's strategically positioned like a loin cloth gets soaking wet and, oddly enough, you can't really feel it anymore. So then you get really paranoid that it's not there anymore and you're just laying there buck-ass naked.
The massage was good. A little painful since my physical self is made up mostly of stress. Which means a lot of knots to work out. These knots have been with me for three years. What if, by getting them worked out, I have lost my powers? What if I fail the bar because of a massage? Like when Lenny Kravtiz cut his hair and put out even crappier music than he did with dreadlocks. Paranoid? Maybe. But given how little I know at this point, a little paranoia is likely justified. But there's no way she got all of them and I know I can get them back into top-notch knotty condition. So I'm sure it'll all work out.
Bad things about the massage? The way she was breathing made me feel like I was being massaged by Darth Vader. I think maybe the deep inhaling and exhaling was supposed to be relaxing or something. But it wasn't. And I would have killed for some Enya or even Kenny G. since the Asian music just made me think that maybe I should rent Memoirs of a Geisha.
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